


Dear One

by thatskiller



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/F, Supernatural - Freeform, ghost - Freeform, haunted, married
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-06-07 13:47:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6807502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatskiller/pseuds/thatskiller
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SwanQueen AU: <br/>After the sudden death of her wife, Regina Mills, Emma Swan and their two children struggle to keep a sense of order. <br/>In the home they shared, every room, every picture, scent brings back memories of a life spent in love. <br/>Emma Swan is haunted by her grief for months, until she is haunted not only by memories, but by Regina herself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear One

*This is just a segment of the whole story*  
Co Author is Moral Pass, who rocks! Check her out. 

It happened when I was sitting on the island drinking a bottle of iced tea, hard of course, but if I couldn’t taste the alcohol I could trick myself into thinking it wasn’t there. Only because I had to stay sober, at least for the next 18 years. Which is oddly comforting. 

It happened when I was trying to reach the paprika on the top shelf, I had heaved myself up using the shelf, but my drunk, now, and fat ass was too much for it and it gave, knocking spices and canned goods everywhere. 

I just screamed, because why? Also, why not.

I was staring down at the mess I made, then I heard her laugh, right behind me, and I froze. It had felt like someone poured ice water down my windpipe, and I couldn’t move. I closed my eyes, tried to take a breath, but it wasn’t enough. 

“I do hope you’re going to clean that up,” she had said. 

I choked, fell to my knees, started to shake, “no, no, no,” I kept saying.

I heard her sign, exasperated, then footsteps receding out the room. I looked up and around, there was no one, not a trace. I pulled on the edges of my hair and started to sob, and I don’t use that word often, or lightly, it’s an ugly word, only used for ugly crying. So, you know, I did. 

It took me about twenty minutes to stand up, my legs still shaking, I kept looking around, behind me, next to me, at the doorways, windows, because I was scared. I started to clean up the mess I had made by throwing away everything, since I never cooked using spices anyways. If I should find a use for basil or lemon pepper or ground pumpkin, then I know I’ll just give up and pull up GrubHub anyways. Cooking is hard. 

Now, with my empty, broken cupboard and still shaking hands I leaned against the counter, muttering to myself just to make noise, because the silence was making me nervous. 

Siren was gone, Ruby took him, and Henry, because she thought I could use some time to be alone, but I couldn’t now, because now I was going crazy. I kept thinking that the kids were keeping me up and going, she thought they were keeping me stressed and occupied and I needed time to cry and break things. 

As tempting as breaking things on purpose sounds, I wasn’t in the mood to clean. Anything, our house was so messy, and I didn’t care. Sometimes, I’d get fed up tiptoeing around things and clean up a bit, but never vacuum or anything that took dedication. Henry did dishes because he hated the smell, so there was that. Guess it’s a good thing we didn’t have pets. 

I always wanted pets, I begged Regina for one for years, but she didn’t want to clean up after it, and I knew that I would get sick of it after a couple of weeks, days, the first time. We all know Henry wouldn’t be doing it. So, no pets. 

Now, I was scared to leave the kitchen, so I pulled my phone out of my pocket and called Ruby, because I felt like I was alone, or dead or something in some new world. I need to know that that wasn’t true.

“Emma, really, it’s been two hours?” Ruby sighed. 

“Ruby,” I said, and my voice scared me, because it sounded like I was still crying and it broke, and shook, and if I had expected to sound this way, then. 

“What’s wrong?” She asked, and could I tell her? 

“Ruby,” I cleared my throat, “uh, I just broke a shelf.” 

“Why are you crying?” She asked. 

“I stepped on some glass.” I lied. “I- I don’t know why I called you, I gotta go,” I hung up, sounding crazy, and after pacing around the island and attempting to take a drink of my tea, which was somehow empty, I took a deep breath and stepped into the living room. 

Nothing, and I felt a little better. 

I went through all the rooms downstairs, her office, the bathroom, the garage, movie room, the foyer. Nothing, and I started to feel better and better, or at least not crazy. 

I touched the rail of the stairway and it felt like I had just been electrocuted, I looked behind me, to see if I’d been hit, I don’t know. I started to feel like all the searching I had done was for nothing, worse and worse and worse. 

I held my breath, going up the steps, I went to our room first, nothing there, exactly how I think I left it. However, I hadn’t slept in there since I heard her voice for the first time. I moved into the guest room, which was where I stayed now, all the same, except there was a sock on my bed that had been on the floor. Okay, that could be just bad memory. 

I moved across the halls, past the stairs, to the bathroom, smelled like shit, because Henry and his friends used it and no one else. I closed the door, because it was started to drift into open waters.   
In Henry’s equally gross room, there was nothing. 

I was almost relieved, but then I remembered I had one more place to check. 

I was relieved until I saw the door cracked when I knew, knew I had closed it. My heart was racing when I reached the door, I was shaking, then I felt my stomach lurch, because I smelled something different, something I couldn’t forget; 

I smelled her perfume, and I stopped, I didn’t know what to do, but before I could debate, I fell and almost screamed. 

Someone had pulled the door inwards, and I was lying on my nose. 

“Jesus Christ, Emma, would you just,” she said, I knew it was her, and then there’s hands on my shoulders and sending shivers down my spine, down to my heels. 

Then I am standing, staring into the eyes of my wife, my dead wife. I couldn’t- I didn’t, know what to feel or do, I opened my mouth, “I-“ was a choke of a word, and all I could manage before I started sniveling and breathing loudly, shaking, it was all quite disgusting. 

“Oh,” she said, slowly pulling me into her, which only made me cry harder as I took in the scent of her until it filled my lungs and I choked on it. I gripped her so tight, bunching her sweater into my fists, just holding all my weight against her. 

We stayed like that for a long time until I was drowsy and tired, and fell to my knees, it was only then that I realized she wasn’t there anymore, and I was digging my nails into my hips, and i started rocking back and forth, until eventually I just fell asleep, right there on the floor. In a room that still smelled like her. 

I may have made mistakes, if so, that's on me.


End file.
